Tired of the immaturity involved in dating men my age, I started leaning towards men in their late 20’s and early 30’s. I thought the men in that age bracket would be a) to be busy to play games and/or b) to settled and established to have to chase around.
Josh* is a 32 year old regular at one of my favorite hang outs, and we have mutual friends. He seemed calm and collected enough at first glance but it became evident within two weeks of starting our fling that the BOY was all about games. No hard feelings, we weren’t official, just a security blanket should we end up still alone after last call on Friday or Saturday nights. The only issue would be the childish guilt-trips through sms if I happen to be out with someone else, the constant accusation that he/she (of his friends) said I said this or that about him, and other random bouts of drama. I bailed out of that situation a couple months ago. I still receive booty calls/text messages from him now and then but I have managed to remind myself that what he gave me in bed was not enough for me to put up with everything else.
Jeremy* is a 29 year old waiter and an old high school classmate. I know some of my friends would have shyed away based on his occupation saying it doesn’t show any type of responsibility, or signs of wanting to be settled but I try not to judge based on occupation. So when I saw Jeremy again I grabbed his number and made plans to hang out. He is overly aggressive on the telephone but extremely adorable with one-liners and sarcastic comments, but in person he is so shy, can barely look into my eyes, it’s hard to get to know him. Last night, he called me out for drinks with his coworkers, when I got to the club he was standing there engrossed in a conversation with a female friend. I said hello sat down beside them and proceeded to question why I was even there to begin with. An entire hour passed and the only time he said more than one word to me was when his male friend asked to buy me a drink and he tried to introduce us to each other (after we had already introduced ourselves.) Finally I got up and left, of course, in a well-mannered way saying goodbye to everyone, his female friend told me he wanted to speak with me but he was shy, I smiled and walked away. Driving home he called and asked me if I still wanted to hang out to which I cordially declined.
I don’t like games, I don’t play well, and I don’t chase anyone, I don’t own running shoes. Of course, those are only two examples, there could be different outcomes had they been different people. I guess I can’t give up know, but I’m sure not in any hurry to try again.
*names have been altered to protect their identity